“It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. “ – Maya Angelou

It is human nature to feel pain or anger when someone hurts us. And for many of us, it is a natural reaction to hold a grudge against that person or try to hurt them back. We all know that neither of these responses will get the result we really want, which is to make the pain or anger go away. Often times, when I have felt that someone has “wronged” me, I have become self-righteous and expected an immediate and heart-felt apology. Then I became more angry and hurt when I didn’t receive it or the person didn’t say it in the perfect way. I allowed those feelings to grow into hardened bitterness. Over time that hostility permeated through most of my life. I noticed that I was judgmental toward people and also toward myself.

Believing that people should be punished for their mistakes only makes us feel bad. Sometimes we even put our lives on hold because we are waiting for another person to confess their missteps. Nelson Mandela said “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Are you tired of poisoning yourself? Today, we can make a conscious decision to stop allowing old wounds to fester any longer. We can choose to acknowledge our past and then let it go. We can accept the fact that all of us are imperfect and hurt others at times.

Writing a detailed description of what happened and how we feel about it is often helpful. Reading this to a trustworthy person can be very restorative. Also, a Life Coach can facilitate EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and surrogate exercises, which are powerful ways to aid in the healing process. We can try different methods to find which tools work best for each of us.

Let’s resolve to allow freedom, tolerance and peace into our hearts by practicing forgiveness right now!